Mothers Gone Mad

The worst imaginable thing happened in Tampa several weeks ago. This crazy woman killed her two beautiful children. To make it even more shocking to me, her husband worked at the same place my husband works, her daughter went to high school with one of the girls on my daughter’s soccer team, her son played soccer at one of the nearby clubs where my children have played. I did not know this woman personally, but considering all the things we shared in common, this atrocity hit too close to home. She shot both her children, and the worst part is she apparently planned the whole thing. It was not an act of impulse. There was a note, there was a motive (“they were mouthy”), there was a waiting period before she did it. She had plenty of time to think about it, to change her mind, to seek help…but she did not. Her plan went awry when she survived her suicide attempt, and now, this woman has to live with herself for the rest of her life. Probably the most fitting punishment I can think of.

When something like this happens in a community it makes everyone feel like we’ve been whacked in the stomach by a sack of bricks. It knocks the wind out of us. It makes us all cry and ask, “How could this possibly happen?” It goes beyond our scope of understanding, goes against all things rational, all things human. Because no matter how crazy this woman is, the thought of any mother killing her children is simply incomprehensible. And yet, it happens. The same week this woman shot her kids in cold blood in Tampa, another woman in Indiana shot her three children and then burned the house down, killing herself and her entire family (to include the dog). Apparently mothers who kill their children are not as uncommon as we would all like to think.

My mother recently sent me a book in the mail called "Between Here and April" about another mother who killed both her children and took her own life as well. This is a work of fiction, based in the 70's, before postpartum depression and hormonal fluctuations were considered a real basis for psychological problems such as depression and mood swings. So far, the book is funny. But at the same time frightening. I can relate to many of the same feelings this crazy woman has experienced. I know what it's like to lose control when it's "that time of month" to where I just want to smash something against a wall, or eat an entire box of Hostess Cupcakes, or stay in bed crying or sleeping because everything else is just too difficult to face. But isn't that normal?

Sure it is. What's not normal is when these feelings last longer than a few hours or a few days. When they start ruling your life. I think it's safe to say that once you start plotting your own death or the death of your children, it's time to put the cupcakes down and go see a psychiatrist.

What strikes me in my reading so far, is that women who kill their children succumb to similar line of thinking. That is, their life is so bad, they can not possibly go on. But they can't accept the idea of leaving their children behind without a mother, so it's better to just kill them too, rather than leave them motherless. They produced these children, so they must be in charge of their destiny.

There is more I want to write about the topic of motherhood, because it is such a complex issue. This post is merely to highlight the extreme cases when mothers go mad.