There is an elusive monkey in Tampa Bay who has been running from authorities for over a year now. A few weeks ago they managed to hit him with two tranquilizer darts, yet somehow, the monkey escaped. I'm rooting for the cheeky monkey, so long as he's not flinging his feces in my front yard.
In other news, there is a mysterious sea creature in Madeira Beach. "Normandy Nessie" has been spotted in canals by several residents who insist that it is not a manatee, but rather, a potentially dangerous sea serpent.
Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission has decreed that March 8 through April 17th, those with a hunting license are allowed to capture and remove "reptiles of concern" from state-managed lands near the Everglades. So what's a reptile of concern, you ask? According to the FWC they include Indian pythons, reticulated pythons, northern and southern African rock pythons, amethystine or scrub pythons, green anaconda, and Nile monitor lizards.
Capture and remove? How about "seek and destroy"?
Perhaps even scarier than the freakish wildlife in Florida are the people who live here. In the past few weeks we've had a rumble in the water ditch across the street which involved a bunch of teenagers, a pistol, and the police (witnessed by my daughter); we've had someone shoot our house with yellow paintballs; and yesterday three police cars stopped my neighbor for apparent suspicious drug-related activity. (This is not the first time...) Another house was put up for sale on our street last week. I can only imagine why. As Hannah says, "We live in the ghetto!"
They say Florida is the Sunshine State. But I call it "Florida, the If-You-Live-Here-You-Must-Be-Insane State."
Cake makes me happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment