Love Brings You Home

Yesterday I came across a great blog post about some of the wonderful things that I will surely miss here when I move back to the United States:

http://www.worth1kwords.com/2014/01/10/14-reasons-i-miss-and-you-should-visit-europe/

Today I've come across a second post written by the same lady, conversely written about all the American things we miss while being stationed overseas:

http://www.worth1kwords.com/2013/10/03/top-14-things-i-missed-about-america-while-living-overseas/

I think it's great to make all these fun observations and share them, because for people like us who have had these similar experiences, it's always cool to speculate on the nuances of living so far away from home. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I was thinking about this a lot, and then this morning my sister-in-law Linda sent me a message asking me if I will be sad to leave here. Yes, yes, yes!! I will be very sad to leave here, for bigger reasons than the "top 14" or even the "top 100" things about Europe that I will miss. We have spent precious years of our lives here. Hannah has spent her last three years of high school here. MitchMan commanded a battalion here. Casey learned how to read and play soccer here. Georgia is making the transition from "child" to "teenager" here. I have made some of the best friends of my life here. So just like any other "home" we have had, I will leave behind memories and pieces of me that will never be replaced or forgotten...and that is always difficult to do.

Man, I'm so conflicted. In fact, at any given time I am missing many places, many people, and many times of my life. That's apparent in the way I frequently reminisce of our years in Hawaii, Florida, Rhode Island, and Georgia. It doesn't get easier with the older I get and the more times we go through the process of transition. If anything it gets even more difficult, because I think at my age, the realization of how fleeting time really is keeps hitting me harder and harder as my kids grow up before my eyes and prepare to fly away from the nest. It suddenly hits you that this is your life. Right here, right now, no matter where you are, no matter who you miss, no matter where you are thinking you would rather be. THIS is it folks. So you better make the most of it.

Yes you might live in Europe and miss the convenience of America. You might miss 24-hour Super Target, Five Guys hamburgers, going to Red Sox games, the ability to communicate in your native language, and more movie or television options. But the way I see it? Living away from those things makes you appreciate not only what you don't have, but also appreciate what you have gained as a result of not having those things. Let me explain what I mean....

Here in Germany I often hear friends talking about the things they miss "back home." I get it, really I do. I get it because when I was 21 years old and stationed in Europe the first time, I spent a good deal of my time here missing those things too. Then, I blinked; we moved back to America and resumed our convenient lives. We bought cable TV and a huge purple minivan that easily fit in every over-sized parking space at the Olive Garden. But I missed real Italian food; I missed the small bakeries and the cheese shops and the open air markets. By a lucky twist of fate, we were given the opportunity for a European do-over 17 years later. This time around I promised myself I wouldn't waste a whole lot of time getting hung up on the things I miss back in the good ol' USA. Sure, I might get annoyed on occasion... like when it's Sunday at 6pm and I don't have butter to make a cake by the next morning. What does one do without the 24 hour convenience stores? How does one survive without Walgreens and WalMart and Super Target??? Rather than wallow or cry about how I miss the easy life, I reach out to my friends and ask for help. Sure enough within twenty minutes I have three wonderful people dropping butter off on my front porch, plus a bag of homemade tamales and salsa. This is the beauty of a simpler life that I'm talking about. It actually forces us to depend on one another, while simultaneously making us more inclined to help others. The "inconveniences" we have in Europe help us build a stronger network of friends. We become the family that we don't have here.

On Facebook I belong to a group called Hohenfels Army Spouses. It is interesting to go to the page and read the feed, because often you will find someone who is new here, or someone with a sick child, or someone who is without a car, etc. Within moments you can be sure there is someone offering advice or help. Once again, we are forced to depend on one another. It might not be easy to ask for help, but in the end, we have evolved into a caring community.

I loved living in Florida. My house was twice as big as the one we live in here, with an amazing kitchen and a pool. I was walking distance from Panera and Publix; a few miles away from Super WalMart and Dunkin' Donuts and dozens of other conveniences. But you know what? I lived there for three years, in the same house in the same subdivision with the same neighbors, and I only knew about five of them on a first name basis. People were too busy with their lives. There was no real sense of community. It was like we were a bunch of people living side by side, co-existing. And I have to tell ya, after living here in Europe and witnessing the way the life is here, particularly in the small close-knit villages, that makes me kinda sad. And even though I have been known to bitch and moan about the size of our house here (and particularly our kitchen, just ask my husband how I really feel about it!), I have to admit that this smaller house has brought us closer together in the evenings as a family. It is a good thing.

Another reason I refuse to allow myself to "miss" anything about America too much is that I know I will blink and be back there again. This is a cultural experience to absorb, savor, and embrace. It is fleeting and it is temporary. Whining about how much you want to go "home" only makes you feel like you are not home. And if you don't think this is your home, at least for the three or so years you are living here, well....that makes me kinda sad too. Because once again...this is it, guys. This is your life. Own it. Whoop it up. Find the beauty of today, even if the weather is not perfect or AFN is not showing your favorite team or you can't understand why the lady in the Rewe parking lot is yelling at you and pointing to a sign you don't understand.

In Ft. Benning, we had cockroaches living in our walls. They were huge and gross and scary. They would come out at night, and they flew! ***cringe*** But when I think back at the years we lived in Ft. Benning, it was one of the best homes we ever had. Two of my children were born there. We belonged to the most amazing church and made lifelong friends there who still feel like our extended family. I don't think of the cockroaches when I think of Ft. Benning; I think of it as a place where we grew up as a family.

The point is we may not always choose where home gets to be, but our lives will continue no matter where we hang our hat. I have a saying posted on my living room wall in vinyl letters and it goes like this:

Life takes you to unexpected places. 

Love brings you home.

How lucky we are for the unexpected places we have called our home over the years. I think of how much these places have shown me, taught me, and given me...and I realize that I wouldn't have changed a thing.

(Well, except maybe the cockroaches.)