Dependapotamus

Several months ago I heard the term dependapotamus for the first time. I was standing in line at the commissary and overheard two Soldiers in the self-checkout. Their conversation went something like this:

"Have you been to the swimming pool in Parsberg?"
"Yep. Along with every dependapotamus in Hohenfels. That's where they hang out all day."

My initial reaction was to laugh; what a silly word! It sounds like something I would invent, actually. I went home and Googled it for the official definition, brought to us by the ever reputable source known as "Urban Dictionary" which has given our culture validity to such terms as Yolo, eggnogling, commandoflauge, and my personal favorite: "fo' shizzle dizzle yo."

(I'll give you a minute to go look those words up...I know you want to know what eggnogling means.)

But back to dependapotamus. There were two definitions listed, and I chose this one to share for the sake of brevity. (Please note that I did not edit or alter the definition in any way, not even to correct the bad grammar or spelling.)

dependapotamus

Traditionally a service-members dependent who is a "stay at home mom" that doesn't do a damn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking remarkably similar to jabba the hut leaching off of military benefits and eating anything that gets too close.

"Dude what the hell is that on your couch?"
"Thats my wife!"
"You need to do something with that dependapotamus." 

(OUCH!)

Urban Dictionary sparked my curiosity for further research. I had to know more about dependapotamus.
Have people been using this word for years without my knowing?
Do people call me a dependapotamus?
Am I a dependapotamus?

I found a few military spouse forums where the term was discussed, followed by colorful/heated comments on the subject. There is a sharp divide on how people feel about this word. On one side you have the overly sensitive MILspouses who argue this word is offensive, degrading, and unfair. On the other side you have the dependapotamus haters, who insist that this creature does exist and lives among us, tainting the fabric of our fine military communities. It's all a bunch of nonsense, and the hour I spent Googling this word is an hour of my life I will never get back. Do yourself a favor and take my word for it.

Honestly? I may have come across a dependapotamus or two in the past twenty-something years that I have been a MILspouse. Yes, the Honey Boo Boos do exist in the military, but not in the large numbers that the 'potamus-haters claim. So I offer one final thought before I go:

Fo' shizzle dizzle yo!